Last updated on March 27th, 2026 at 12:23 pm
One-third of the Psalms are laments.
Not praise songs. Not gentle devotionals. Not tidy prayers with resolved endings. Raw, honest, sometimes furious prayers poured out before God by people who loved Him and were not okay.
Somebody decided not to teach us those ones. And a lot of midlife women are paying for that decision right now — sitting in grief and anger and confusion with no language for bringing any of it to God, convinced that their feelings are too messy for prayer.
They are not too messy for prayer. They are exactly what lament is for.
What Lament Actually Is
Lament is not complaining. It is not a sin. It is not spiritual immaturity dressed up in religious language.
Biblical lament is honest prayer directed toward God in faith — the act of bringing the real, unedited condition of your heart before Him and trusting that He is big enough, close enough, and good enough to receive it.
Mark Vroegop, who has written extensively on this practice, defines lament simply as a prayer in pain that leads to trust. That distinction matters. Complaining circles inward. Lament moves toward God, even when it arrives angry.
Is it nothing to you, all ye that pass by? behold, and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow.
- Lamentations 1:12 (KJV)
Jeremiah wrote Lamentations after watching Jerusalem destroyed — the temple gone, the people scattered, the whole life of faith he had devoted himself to apparently in ruins. He did not praise his way through it. He lamented. And God included every word in Scripture.
The Structure of Biblical Lament
The lament psalms and Lamentations share a consistent structure. It is not a formula — it is a path. And knowing the path means you do not have to figure out how to pray when you have nothing left to figure things out with.
1. Address God directly.
Every lament begins by turning toward God rather than away from Him. Even in anger. Even in confusion. “O God.” “LORD.” “My God.” It does not have to be warm. It does not have to be eloquent. It just has to be toward Him. This is the act of faith underneath the lament — you are still bringing it to Him rather than taking it elsewhere.
2. Pour out the complaint honestly.
This is the part nobody teaches. The Psalms are not vague about suffering. “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1). “How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever?” (Psalm 13:1). “I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.” (Psalm 6:6). Name what is actually happening. Name what you actually feel. Not the sanitized version — the real one. God already knows it. You are not informing Him. You are being honest with Him, which is different.
3. Make your request.
After the complaint comes the petition. Not before. This is important: lament does not skip to asking before it has named what is true. But it does ask. “Hear me.” “Help me.” “Do not hide your face.” “Be near.” “Remember me.” The petition is an act of trust — you are still asking because you still believe He can answer.
4. Choose trust.
Most lament psalms do not resolve with the problem fixed. They resolve with a choice. “I will yet praise him.” “The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.” (Lamentations 3:24). This is not pretending the pain is gone. It is deciding, in the middle of the pain, that God is still God — and that is still enough to anchor you.
Lament doesn’t rush to the silver lining. It brings the dark honestly to the One who is Light, and trusts Him with what happens next.
— Mary Kaye Chambers
Lamentations 3: The Long Way Through
Lamentations 3 is the center of the book — and it is the center for a reason. Jeremiah does not get to the mercies being new every morning by skipping the first twenty verses.
I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light. - Lamentations 3:1–2 (KJV)
He names the darkness first. Eighteen verses of darkness. The feeling of being ignored, of being walled in, of prayers that seem to bounce off the ceiling. If you have felt that, Jeremiah felt it first. And then:
This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:21–23 (KJV)
“This I recall to my mind.” The hope is not a feeling that returned. It is a choice to remember. He turned his face back toward what he knew to be true about God — not because the pain was gone, but because truth does not wait for pain to leave before it is true.
That is the movement lament makes. Not around the grief. Through it.
How to Start When You Don’t Know How to Start
If you have never prayed this way, it can feel strange. Here is a simple way in.
Get a piece of paper and write at the top: “God, here is what is actually true right now.” Then write it. Do not edit for language. Do not perform for an invisible audience. Do not wrap it up before you are done. Just tell Him what is true.
Then, when you have said what is true, write: “What I need from you is —” and finish the sentence.
Then, last: “Even so, I believe —” and name one thing you still believe about who He is. Even a small one. Even a reluctant one.
That is a lament. It does not have to be longer than that. It does not have to be prettier than that. The Psalms prove that God has been receiving honest, uncomfortable, sometimes furious prayers for thousands of years. He is not surprised by yours.
With Love,
Mary Kaye
⛪️ Prayer
God, you are the God who receives lament. You are the God who put Lamentations in the Bible, who left the angry psalms in the prayer book, who met Jeremiah in the rubble and did not tell him to calm down first. You are big enough for the honest version.
We bring you the anger and the grief and the confusion that midlife women are carrying right now — the kind that feels too raw for polished prayer. Teach us to bring it toward you rather than away from you. Teach us to name what is true before we ask, and to ask before we despair. Teach us the movement of lament — not because it is comfortable, but because it leads somewhere real.
Meet every woman who is sitting in something hard right now and does not have words for it. Let her find one. Let her start there.
We pray this trusting and believing in You. Amen.
🪞 Reflect & Review
Take these into your journal or onto a walk this week.
1. Is there something you are currently carrying that you have not yet brought honestly to God? What has kept you from naming it plainly in prayer?
2. Read Psalm 13 in full — six verses. Notice the four movements: address, complaint, petition, trust. Which one is hardest for you? Which one do you tend to skip?
3. What is one thing you still believe about God, even in the middle of the hardest thing you are facing right now? Write it down. That is your starting point.
📖 Relevant Scriptures
Lamentations 3:1–3, 21–24 (KJV)
I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light. Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand against me all the day... This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
Psalm 13:1–2 (KJV)
How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
Psalm 22:1–2 (KJV)
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.
Psalm 62:8 (KJV)
Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.
💌 Before You Go
If you want to take this further, the Writing Lab over on
You can also read the companion piece on the site: “Nobody Told You That You’d Grieve a Good Life” for the emotional side of what this prayer practice is designed to hold. Both pieces are part of the Identity Crisis journey at This Sacred Season.